Archive for the ‘Mindfulness’ Category

Three little words

Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

“If  only death is certain, and the manner and time of death are uncertain, what should you do now?”

A close friend and colleague shared this unattributed Tibetan quote with me 6 months ago and I have found it to be a frequent visitor to my thinking since then.  I thought I would share it with you now because at the moment it is working for me in three different ways.

Looking at the last section of the quote,’what’. ‘do’ and ‘now’ are words that neatly sum up where my mind has found itself recently.

What
I sometimes think we have too much choice.  As a society it is one of those valuable prizes that we legislate, create policy and even fight wars for.  And yet rather than empower us, choice sometimes seems to have the opposite effect.  Whether we are dazzled by the vast array of choices we have or disabled by the constant need to be making decisions about things, the promised rewards do not seem to be materialisng. 

At the same time the amount of choice and decisions we now have over the smaller things, e.g. types of coffee, holiday desitnations, clothes in our wardrobes seems to ensure we lose focus on some of the big choices we have, e.g. what would be like to spend our brief time on this planet doing. 

What keeps me on my toes is the fear that I only discover what I want to do with my life when it is too late.

Do
I like this word because it creates lots of conflict in my mind.  On the one hand I think we all try and ‘do’ too much, cramming our lives with stuff so that we never get a chance to just ‘be’.  We associate being busy with being valued and therefore assume something must be wrong with us if we have spare time.

On the other hand in most instances changes requires an action.  If we want to alter an outcome we need to change what we are doing.  I love change, so I must love doing things.  I value interventions that make a difference - more actions.

I guess the punch line is, that having chosen the ‘what’, we need to being empowered to ‘do’ things that will take us forward.   I spend time with some people who act like victims to their circumstances.  They are busy doing lots of things but not the things they clearly need (or sometimes want) to be doing.

Now
The original quote brings a feeling of urgency.  On the basis - worst case - my life could end tomorrow what should I do now?  The concept of “live life as if everyday is your last” is very appealing but needs the tag line “if you do the end may come sooner rather than later”.

On the other hand some people just seem to be waiting for something, or making sacrifices today for a tomorrow that may never come or which will not turn out to be worth waiting for.

The concept of ‘now’ is a very powerful one for me - it energises and challenges.   I think i will continue to grapple with it.

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Getting to know an old family member

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Over the past few months I have got to know an old relation of mine very well.  Although he has always been a big part of my life, I have realised I had been taking him very much for granted.  I had focused selfishly on what he could do for me and spent hardly anytime wondering what life is like for him and how I might help him. But all that has changed and my old and trusted relation has also become a unique and dear friend. 

I am, of course, talking about my brain.

Mindfulness practice has helped me get to know my brain.  Although he has lived with me all my life, I have never really understood my brain.  Of course I knew of him, valued him even.  But I was always interested in his performance and the praise I got as a result.  Grade A at ‘O’ level maths aged 14 - well done brain.  Ability to learn large chunks of unwieldy script - excellent work brain.

But now it seem like we have only just been introduced.  My meditation practice has allowed me to spend severe amounts of quality time in the company of my old/new friend.  And what have I learnt about him?

First of all he is highly energetic, a bit like a young Jack Russell terrier who runs all over the place for no apparent reason.

Secondly he appears to suffer from a brain version of ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).  He struggles to concentrate on something for long unless it is really engaging and hops from thought to though at random and with no control.

Finally he is a collection of contradictions.  He can produce a clear visual image of my geography teacher from 30 years ago but not recall what I had for dinner yesterday.  He can do long multiplication without using pen and paper but cannot resist forever getting me to say ‘jigsaw’ when I want to say ‘crossword’.

Sometimes when I am mediating I can literally feel/hear him fizzing away as electrical energy bounces around inside of him.  My other body parts are his antithesis; reliable steady, predictable, consistent.  My brain is nothing like this.  Even as I am writing this he is simultaneously (a) producing pictures of the people I think will read this (b) telling me my hands are cold (c) commenting on the quality of this article and (b) noticing the workmen using a hammer outside.

I’m nearly 46 and, given the way I have a mistreated my brain over the years I wouldn’t blame him if he just downed tools and gave up on me.  But he doesn’t, he keeps going and going - buzz buzz buzz all day long.  A bit like a child, the only ways I can calm him down are by either getting him to sleep or by being totally present for him.  The latter brings me right back to mindfulness.

(PS my brain just told me this article is rubbish - why does he always do that?)

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